


From Every Direction, A Different Disguise

by LadyDeb



Series: Themes and Variations [4]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Gen, Jack's family becomes part of his team, Owen displays signs of chivalry, Suzie wishes she had someone who would protect her, Temporary Character Death: Jack Harkness, Tosh just tries to keep everyone from going off the rails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:45:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDeb/pseuds/LadyDeb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Owen gives his name as Jack's before a bar fight, the repercussions are far-reaching for everyone, but especially Jack, his daugher Alice, and Suzie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Case of Mistaken Identity

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration finally struck, so we get to hear about the pub fight that ended up bringing Jack’s team and family together. This will be a short story (for me) … thirty pages, tops. Most likely less. Also, something occurred to me while I was writing it … given how powerful Torchwood is, why in heaven’s name didn’t Katie’s doctors wait until Jack got there? Well, since he’s not on especially good terms with Torchwood London, that seemed like the most likely scenario. In this first section, Owen just wants to get drunk; Jack picks up the pieces of his doctor; while Alice gets an earful about Jack.

Disclaimer:  Captain Jack Harkness, his family, Owen Harper, Suzie Costello and Toshiko Sato do not belong to me … they belong to Russell T. Davies, the BBC, and Starz.  And I’m certainly not making any money from writing any of these stories.  My greatest reward is giving characters I love a little bit of happiness.

 

 

 

Cardiff, Wales

July 2005

 

 

He made his way through the crowd, wanting to get horribly, stinking pissed and not really caring what Jack thought about it the following morning.  He grimaced when he thought about his boss.  Jack sodding Harkness thought this new bird was so damn good, let her handle whatever came through.  It would have been Katie’s birthday, and oh God, it hurt so much.  Dr. Owen Harper made his way through the pub, pushing toward the bartender.  There was a bloke already there, but Owen ignored him.  He didn’t want to talk, he didn’t want to socialize, and most importantly of all, he wanted to drink until it didn’t hurt any more.  Owen growled his order at the barkeep, grunting when it was set in front of him. 

He didn’t bother looking around … wasn’t particularly interested in those around him, unless it was to make sure that they stayed out of his way, and vice versa.  No, he wanted to focus on Katie.  He tried so many damn times to think about the way she was before that sodding alien parasite began taking her away from him, but it never worked.  Whenever he closed his eyes, he saw that thing that murdered the love of his life and murdered a significant part of Owen’s soul at the same time … and his rage grew.

At this point, he knew that Jack was telling him the truth about Katie’s death … that it could have been avoided if the doctors waited for him, and if that pompous bird Yvonne Hartman hadn’t told the surgeons to ignore Jack.  Owen smiled coldly.  He paid her back, though.  The one time they met, he told her flat out that he would never forget that it was her interference that cost Katie her life.  She hadn’t looked particularly impressed (or contrite) until Jack’s hand settled on his shoulder and he pointed out to the woman that just as doctors could heal, they could also harm.  Owen had the pleasure of seeing her go white with horror, not just at the threat but at the realization of what she did.  She was responsible for Katie’s death, and there might come a time when her life was in Owen’s hands.  The young doctor offered her a feral grin, before pulling away from Jack’s hand and leaving the office.   He had to get out of there … it was impossible for him to breathe in there.

He had a vague recollection of a pretty, dark-skinned young woman turning to face him and rising to her feet as he blew out of Hartman’s office, and a young man calling, ‘Lisa?’  But he ignored them both, because he had to leave immediately.  Immediately, before he forgot that you weren’t supposed to hit women, because Yvonne Hartman certainly wasn’t a lady.  Instead, he took a swing at Jack once they returned to Cardiff, because dammit, he should have told Owen sooner that Hartman was to blame for Katie’s death!  Toshiko hotly defended their boss, telling him that Jack didn’t know for certain until the confrontation in Hartman’s office.  It was rare when Toshiko stood up to him, but when she did, it was always on Jack’s behalf.  Not that it was necessary this time, because while Owen took a swing at Jack, the blow never landed this time.  The worst part of it was, Owen never even saw Jack move.  There was a story there, but damn if Owen could figure it out.  Besides, he didn’t want to.  It wasn’t his problem, he had problems enough of his own.

As Owen stared into his drink, snatches of the conversation beside him began to filter into his hearing.  That by itself was enough to make him unhappy.  He wanted to be left alone, dammit!  But the world didn’t like him that much, and to his right, he heard some loud-mouth pillock crowing about the little bit on the side he had, and how his wife didn’t suspect a blessed thing, the stupid bird.  Not that it was any of her concern, not when she’d been having an affair for years.  He didn’t believe a word that the dark-haired man he sometimes saw her with was her brother … the bloke had an American accent, and he knew for a fact that his wife had no siblings!  His mum-in-law told him that straight out!

Again, Owen tried to ignore the berk, but he was making it bloody difficult.  A quick glance over his shoulder told him that the other men in that little group didn’t look particularly impressed either.  Good.  Let them deal with their mate.  The doctor (who wasn’t even close to being drunk enough yet) tried to tune them out.  He honestly didn’t care about this prat and his marital issues, but his lip was starting to get on Owen’s nerves.  And really, if this was how the bloke behaved on a regular basis, Owen honestly couldn’t blame his old lady for stepping out on him.  He would have stayed out of it.  He really would have.

Except the blighter decided to shove at him, and growl, “Oi, get outta me way, you little plonker.”  Owen ignored him, focusing instead on the liquid sloshing about in the glass.  This time, he was shoved harder, spilling his drink.  Owen very carefully set down what remained on the counter and turned to face the bastard full on, offering the other man a very cold, very nasty smile.  Some of the philanderer’s friends were starting to pull away, looking from him to Owen and back again warily.

The doctor smirked at him and said very softly, “My name is Jack … Jack Harkness.  Not ‘ _you little plonker_.’  And as for moving?  Make.  Me.  Big man like you, should be easy … you cheat on your wife and brag about it, should be easy for you to make me.”  He wasn’t entirely sure why he gave Jack’s name (okay, maybe he was … it served the bastard right).  And while he didn’t have Jack’s ability to block a punch, he could (and did) duck.  Which he did now, easily ducking under the swing the bastard took at him.  Owen might not have thrown the first punch, but by God, he’d throw the last one!

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

Torchwood Three Hub

Cardiff, Wales

 

 There were good things about being the director of Torchwood Three … including his ability to influence other operatives into leaving the Doctor alone.  There was his weekly conversation with the Brigadier, who spoke to him with the same mixture of amusement, affection and exasperation that was present when he spoke of the Doctor.  He took great pleasure in earning that strange mixture, and in the Brig’s reassurances.  As yet, he hadn’t made contact with Sarah Jane Smith or any of the other former Companions.  He just enjoyed talking to the Brig.

 What Captain Jack Harkness _didn’t_ enjoy was paperwork.  And as the director, there was a great mess of paperwork.  In fact, it was his private opinion (half in fun and full in earnest) that paperwork was the invention of some alien species trying to take over the world … bogged down in bureaucracy and unable to do a damn thing.  And the only person he shared that opinion with was the Brig, who roared with laughter and replied, “You have a point there, lad, you have a point there.”  Jack didn’t bother pointing out that he was old enough to be the Brig’s grandfather.  It wouldn’t do much good. 

 Instead, he focused on the budgets and the requisition forms and everything else that required his attention.  And when the phone rang, he answered it immediately (because if it wasn’t the phone ringing, it would have been a Rift alert or a Weevil spotted or something).  Of course, his distraction wasn’t much better because he was informed by the owner of a local pub, Darien Roberts, that he needed to pick up Owen, who got pissed and then got into a fight.  It didn’t concern him that it was Darien who called him … he was an old friend of Jack’s, who kept an eye on Torchwood operatives when they were in the pub … it wasn’t even that Owen got into a fight.  From what his friend said, Owen won the fight.  It was the sound of Owen weeping.  That worried Jack far more than anything else … he actually heard Owen weeping in the background.  Owen got drunk on a regular basis and he became nastier, not weepy.  Jack told his old friend that he would be there immediately, hung up, and pushed his paperwork aside. 

 He brushed a light kiss to the top of Tosh’s head, telling her that he would be back as soon as possible.  Jack really wasn’t sure if she heard him, since she was entranced in what she was currently doing.   Suzie was still focused on the glove, and barely looked up as he left.  Jack reminded himself to send the girls home once he returned with Owen to the Hub … or better yet, once he picked up the doctor.  They didn’t need to see it and Owen didn’t need them to see it.  Less than a half hour later, he was being guided into the office of his old friend, where Owen was reclining on the couch.

 Darien murmured, “I’ll leave the two of you alone, and settle with you about the damage later.  It won’t be as much as the other bloke.”  Jack nodded and Darien patted his shoulder before leaving the room.  Jack knelt beside the dozing man and cupped his cheek with his palm, drawing Owen’s eyes open.  The doctor blinked at him and mumbled something indistinguishable.  Jack merely smirked at him, but didn’t remove his hand.  The two men stared at each other for several moments, Jack using the time to check Owen’s injuries.  Darien told him that Owen won the fight, but that didn’t mean Jack wouldn’t need to tend to bumps, cuts, and bruises.  What Owen was looking for, Jack honestly wasn’t sure.

 At last, Owen said, his voice sounding more than a little rusty, “Is this the point where you tell me how disappointed in me you are, and how I’m too old to be acting like this?”  Jack merely arched his brows at the other man and surprisingly, Owen flushed a little, muttering something under his breath.  Jack didn’t even try to hear what the doctor was saying … right now, he was hurting all over, not nearly as drunk as he probably wanted to be, and now he was embarrassed.  That wasn’t a good mixture for any man, much less Owen Harper.

 “Way I hear it, you didn’t start the fight.  You may not have done much to avoid it, but you didn’t start it either.  In fact, Darien told me on the way in here that you were actually defending a woman’s honor, in a roundabout way.  So why would I be disappointed in you?” Jack asked mildly.  Owen started to sit up, wincing as bruised ribs must have protested.  The immortal didn’t move, knowing better than to try to help Owen without the other man asking first.  The doctor huffed a little, winced again, and gave Jack a pleading look.  Jack eased him upright and smirked a little when Owen huffed at him again.

 “It’s Katie’s birthday … and that berk was bragging about how he had some on the side.  Bragging about his loyal wife, home with their little boy, while he shagged someone who didn’t know or care that he was married.  I never had a chance to marry Katie or give her babies, and that pillock doesn’t know, doesn’t _care_ , what he’s got!” Owen explained bitterly.  Jack didn’t speak.  It wasn’t often that Owen talked about his late fiancée and everything they never had a chance to do.  The young doctor swallowed hard before continuing, “All I wanted to do was get drunk in peace, Jack.  That was all.”

 “And then he shoved into you, you decided to play the immovable object and dared him to move you, and things went from there,” Jack observed.  Owen managed to crack a small smile as he nodded, wincing again from the cuts on his face.  Jack was silent for a long moment, and then he said, “Okay.  I’ll call Darien tomorrow about settling your tab and the damages from your donnybrook.  In the meantime, I’ll take you back to the Hub … and don’t worry, I’ll make sure the girls are gone before we get there.”

 Owen tried not to look relieved and failed miserably.  Jack suppressed a smile and helped the doctor to his feet, allowing the other man to lean against him.  Owen muttered, obviously not thinking clearly (because he would have never said it if he was thinking at all), “Don’t know whether I should be relieved or insulted that you’re not trying to cop a feel.”  Jack snickered, ignoring Owen’s disgruntled look, as well as the doctor’s muttered, ‘ _oi, Harkness, it isn’t that funny_.’  _Yes, Owen_ , Jack thought with a mischievous grin, _it **is** that funny_. However, he didn’t say so.  Instead, he assisted the wobbly doctor from the pub, exchanging a nod (in lieu of a kiss) with Darien.  Owen snarked, “Don’t hold back on my account!”

 “Oh, I wouldn’t want to throw you off-balance, Owen … you’re wobbly enough as it is,” Jack retorted breezily, and Owen groaned, rolling his eyes with obvious exasperation.  Honestly, what did he expect?  Granted, he wasn’t with Torchwood as long as Suzie or Tosh, but he’d been with Jack long enough to know what to expect.  The two men were silent as they navigated out of the pub and out into the night air.  Contrary to popular belief, Jack was quite capable of being quiet ( _hello, once and future soldier here_!) and right now, he was more concerned with what Owen needed than in hearing the sound of his own voice.  Jack eased his doctor into the SUV, securing him carefully into the seat belt, before traveling around to the other side and swinging himself inside and securing his own seat belt.

 The drive back to the Hub was quiet once Jack made the call to send Suzie and Tosh home.  Of course, both ladies protested, but Jack reminded them both that he needed them rested and clear-eyed, not exhausted.  That didn’t stop Suzie from getting grumpy, but he did offer to make it an order (something that wasn’t necessary with Tosh, thankfully).  That made her even grumpier, but she did agree to leave.  If she was still there when Jack and Owen arrived … well, he would figure something out.  For the moment, he kept his speed down (much for Owen’s sake than anything else).  He pulled into the underground parking garage … Owen wouldn’t have thanked him for using the lift disguised by the perception filter.  Jack could be playful and he could be a bastard, but that would have just been too much.  Both girls were gone by that time (for which Jack was incredibly grateful), and Owen could walk more or less on his own.

 Jack patched up his doctor in silence … well, aside from the occasional hisses of pain and more prevalent bitching.  However, that didn’t bother Jack … in a way, it was reassuring.  If Owen wasn’t bitching or snarking, then something was wrong.  Owen asked suddenly, “Do you think I’m making something out of nothing?  Over reacting to what that blighter was saying?’  The question literally came out of nowhere … in just about every way you could imagine.  The question itself surprised Jack, and the fact that it was Owen who was asking startled him.  Although Jack knew he wasn’t the most sensitive person around, and he became exasperated with twentieth and twenty-first century mores, he also recognized what Owen was really asking.

 Thus, he replied as the last cut was tended to and the last bruise received salve, “There’s no timetable for grief, Owen, much less for healing.  And from Darien told me, you didn’t start the fight.”  Owen nodded, still looking troubled, and Jack continued, “Get some sleep.  Even if you’re not as drunk as you want to be, I still don’t want you on the roads.”  It was the only way Owen would accept expressions of concern.  The doctor nodded brusquely, easing himself from the table with a little less wincing.

 “Yeah, yeah, you’re all heart, Harkness,” Owen sniped and Jack smiled.  That was about as close to a ‘ _thank you_ ’ as Owen was comfortable with giving, and that was fine.  More than fine, really.  Jack was unceremoniously shooed out of the autopsy bay … Owen evidently needed a few moments to himself.  Jack merely bounded up the stairs into the main part of the Hub, and then on up into his office, where that pile of paper remained.  It wasn’t the break he hoped for when the call from Darien came earlier, but it was the one he received … and that pile of paperwork wouldn’t go away on its own.

 He sat down at his desk, frowning a little at the most recent report from Suzie about the glove.  There was something very uncomfortable about that thing, but before they locked it away, he had to know more about it.  The time was drawing ever nearer for him to find the Doctor again, and the more they knew about the alien tech in Torchwood’s archives, the better off they would be.  Of course, as he sometimes had to remind himself, the worst threats to humanity’s continued survival (to say nothing of their future) was humans themselves.  Such as Owen Harper telling the other man in their fight that his name was Jack Harkness … but it would be another few days before Jack learned about _that_.

 

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

 

London, England

Same Night

 

 

He thought she didn’t know _something_ was going on.   He was wrong. 

 Back when her name was Melissa Moretti, and she was the daughter of two Torchwood operatives, she picked up on things that the adults in her life would have wanted her to remain innocent of.  But her mother removed her father from their lives, and she was behaving then the exact same way that Joe was behaving now.  She didn’t want to believe it, but the evidence was mounting with each passing day.

 She was sitting with Steven, now sound asleep with Mr. Fuzzy clutched in his arms.  He’d had a nightmare and for some reason, only her old bear settled him when he was sick or terrified.  She had a suspicion, though, that it was a combination of her scent and her father’s, since Mr. Fuzzy was one of the few things she had left of her life as Melissa Moretti.  The door opened and closed and Alice Carter hesitated briefly, pressing a soft kiss to her son’s hair, before heading downstairs to greet her husband.  What she saw when she reached him stunned her.  Her husband was supported between two of his mates, neither of them able to look her in the eye, and Joe himself … Either Joe was in a fight or he got mugged.  Neither one boded well for the rest of the night.  Instead of asking what the hell happened to him (the smell of alcohol gave it away), she motioned his two friends to follow her into the kitchen.

 It was there that she learned they went down to Cardiff to celebrate … she wasn’t given details about what they were celebrating, and Alice had a sneaking suspicion that she didn’t want to know.  As it was, it was bad enough that they went to Cardiff … Cardiff was where her father was, and she tried very hard to keep her husband and her father separate.  It wasn’t that hard, really … not as hard as it was to keep her son away from her father.  Steven adored him … just as she did once, before she found out what he really was.  She learned from her husband’s mates that Joe picked a fight with a man who was really just trying to drink in peace … but Joe went too far, and the bloke kicked his arse.  Alice could only sigh. 

 And then they dropped the bomb.  The man whom her idiot husband attacked was none other than her father.  Alice’s initial sympathy for the man just trying to drink at the pub vanished when her father’s name was mentioned.  She _warned_ him about interfering in her life!  While his contact with Joe was (very) limited, he knew Joe’s name, and she wouldn’t put it past him to set Joe up to embarrass him.  Why he would do that, Alice had no idea, but she stopped trying to figure out why her father would do things years earlier.

 Later, she would wonder why she didn’t get a description of the man whom her husband fought.  And there were signs that it wasn’t really her father … for one thing, they kept referring to ‘that little bloke.’  Jack was not little … he was tall and broad-shouldered, and he wasn’t little by any stretch of the imagination.  She was ashamed to admit it, when called on it, but she simply made assumptions.  And finally, there was one other thing Alice failed to take into account … if Joe fought her father, his mates would have found it necessary to carry her husband into the house.  He walked in under his own power.

 But she didn’t think about any of that.  Instead, she listened to what was said with only half an ear, focusing on that one name:  Jack Harkness.  Dammit, he promised her … he promised her that he would stay out of her life!  There was a distant part of Alice’s mind that recognized she was leaping to conclusions based on too-few facts, but she always had this reaction to her father’s interference in her life.  And hearing that her husband was bragging about cheating on her _might_ have made a difference, but that was more information that wasn’t available to her.  And, she would admit later, it might have made no difference.  The only thing that registered with her at that moment in time was while Steven was in school the following day, she would go to Cardiff and she would kill her father!

  

TBC 


	2. The Oil that Eases Friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzie takes action; Alice discovers the truth; and Jack gets a number of surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, the chapter title … it comes from a quotation by Eva Burrows, a General of the Salvation Army, and the full quote is, ‘In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.’ Yes, I freely admit, I looked through a website of quotations, trying to find a quotation that felt right. With regards to Jack and Alice’s conversation about the past, I have very specific feelings for Jack doing what he did because of a very ugly custody battle that consumed my family for three years, thanks to my sister-in-law’s first husband.

Torchwood Three

Cardiff, Wales

The next morning

 

Suzie Costello loved her job.  In all of her life, she could have never imagined having a job that she loved so much.  When she realized that Torchwood operatives didn’t tend to live past the age of thirty-five, she really wasn’t bothered by it.  Why would she be?  Working at Torchwood, it was worth it.  And that was before she began work on her new project.  With everything she worked on and encountered since she was first recruited, this was the most intriguing item yet.  Of course, the first few weeks, it involved a great deal of hair-pulling, cursing in every language she could think of and a few languages she didn’t recognize, but the words sounded dirty.  Unfortunately, she had a feeling she said things she didn’t want to say, based on Jack’s reaction.  Normally, he had an incredibly expressive face, but when he overheard her, his face went stony.  And then he went into his office … but the entire base could still hear him laughing hysterically. 

But now … now, things were starting to fall into place.  She wasn’t entirely happy with having to leave the night before, but could see Jack’s perspective.  Tired people made more mistakes … and it was rare that Jack offered/threatened to make something an order.  _No_ , she thought ruefully, _he has other ways to get what he wants_. When she arrived this morning, she found Owen sound asleep on the sofa.  Owen never stayed the night, and Suzie wondered.  She saw the way he looked at her, noticed his obvious lust.  Of course she did.   She also saw how lost he was, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready to become a lifeline for him.  Suzie knew her own issues, she knew that she was damaged.  There were parts of her that were healed, but not enough … not nearly enough, not yet.  And those parts of her might never be healed.

She got to work, because her fascination with the glove wouldn’t allow her to do anything else.  And, as she did when they didn’t eat in the Hub, she missed lunch.  Jack took Tosh out to lunch ( _good for him_ ), while Owen was still in his autopsy bay.  The next time Suzie looked up, it was half two, and she was starving.  There were times when she hated her body for its neediness, and now was one of those times.  She left her workstation with a sigh, yelled down to Owen that she was going out for dinner, and headed up to the tourist office which was their cover … and found a dark-haired woman pacing back and forth.  She turned to face Suzie, not looking at all surprised by her appearance, and demanded, “Where the hell is he?  Where’s Jack Harkness?”

Suzie wasn’t Tosh.  There was very little gentleness in her.  Most of her gentleness was wiped away at a very early age.  She had none of Jack’s charm.  Owen was … well, Owen was Owen.  She was Suzie, and when someone confronted her like that, demanding to see someone who Suzie worked with (who saved Suzie, though she would never admit it), her protective instincts kicked in full force.  It wasn’t that Jack needed protection ( _oh, hells to the no_ ), but he was one of Suzie’s.  Just as Owen was, just as Tosh was.  She put both hands on her hips, leaned forward until she was in the other woman’s face and demanded, “Who wants to know?”

The woman blinked, evidently astonished.  Suzie merely glowered at the other woman with her best ‘I’m waiting for an answer,’ and the woman actually stuttered, “I’m … I’m his sister, Alice.  Alice Carter.”  Suzie raised her eyebrows, giving the woman a once-over.  Mid to late thirties, dark hair … she looked a bit like Jack, but something didn’t quite ring true to Suzie.  Maybe it was the English accent, maybe it was the way the woman’s eyes slid away from Suzie’s.  The brief silence gave Carter the time to regain her moral outrage as she spat, “I told him not to interfere in my life.  He got into a fight with my husband, and he knows better than that!”

_Wait, wait, wait_.  That didn’t sound right.  Suzie raised a hand to silence the woman and thought back.  Jack was at the Hub for most of the night, leaving only after he got a call … oh.  And Owen was sleeping on the sofa behind Tosh’s workstation, with bruises on his face.  Suzie shook her head, grabbed the woman’s arm, and hauled her through the secret door, ignoring the woman’s indignant squeak.  Because she knew exactly what happened.  Jack wasn’t in that fight, but she knew her boss and her friend, and even if he did start a fight with his quote unquote brother-in-law, then he had a damn good reason for doing so.  She wasn’t concerned about a security breach, not when Carter already knew about Jack.

As soon as she was able, she bellowed at the top of her lungs, “OWEN!”  When he didn’t immediately appear, Suzie inhaled sharply to bellow a second time, but the familiar dark head appeared, grumbling up at her.  She dragged the stunned woman over to the doctor and demanded, “Owen Harper, did you get into a fight with this woman’s husband last night?”  Now she saw the fading bruises more clearly, fist-sized bruises.  Owen’s eyes flickered over Suzie’s unwilling companion, and that was all the confirmation she needed.

“I … got into a fight last night, yeah,” Owen admitted, although there wasn’t a hint of shame or embarrassment, or anything of the sort.  He continued, “Don’t know if it was with this bird’s husband … sorry, luv … but yeah, got into a fight.  Kicked his sorry arse, too.”  There was more than a little satisfaction in his voice, something that wasn’t just about kicking this Carter’s arse. Suzie didn’t release the woman’s arm and Owen asked, “There a particular reason you’re asking me about this?  Especially with, ooooh, I don’t know, a strange woman in the Hub, the Hub she isn’t even supposed to know about?”

Suzie smirked at him coldly and replied, “Why did you use Jack’s name?”  The woman gave a small moue of distress, but Suzie didn’t release her.  Owen did look embarrassed then, and he gave a small shrug.  Put it in the ‘ _it seemed like a good idea at the time_ ’ file.  Suzie said slowly, “I see.  Well, Jack didn’t get into a fight with your husband, Owen did.  Now, what I want to know … so what if he did?  Owen, why did you fight with this bloke?”  Maybe she should have asked that question sooner, but it wasn’t her business until Jack’s so-called sister showed up.

“At the risk of sounding like a whinging arse, he started it,” Owen retorted.  The sad thing was, Suzie believed it.  The doctor continued with a wary glance toward the strange woman, “I didn’t care for the way he talked, but didn’t confront him.  Just wanted to get drunk in peace.  He had other ideas.  And I still don’t know why this bird is in our secret underground base, the one that no one is supposed to know about.”  Ah.  Good point.  And she didn’t think that reminding him that she was Jack’s second in command would be good enough for Owen.

“I’m Jack’s sister Alice.  I came here to confront him about interfering in my life.  I told him not to have anything to do with my marriage … he tends to be overly-protective of me … and Joe came home, telling me that he had a fight with Jack Harkness.  I thought he broke his promise,” the woman said, sounding more than a little defeated.  Overly-protective.  Suzie thought of her mother’s death, of what necessitated that desperate flight, and her own anger flared.  She gave Alice’s arm a yank, forcing the other woman to face her, and ignored the answering gasp of pain.

“And so what if he did?  Do you have any idea how many people would kill to have a brother … hell, a father … like Jack?  Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have someone who cares that much?” she demanded, and saw the pure shock in Alice’s face.  Well, that answered that.  Suzie snarled, “I would give anything to have had a brother like Jack when I was a child!”  Alice looked even more shocked and Suzie laughed a little wildly.  There were times when she loved her job … and then she encountered some of the stupid, selfish idiots they protected, and she wondered if it was worth it at all … more to the point, if these berks and bints were worth it.  She would have continued, would have told her why …

Except, it was at that point that Jack said, sounding stunned, “Alice?  What are you doing here?”  Suzie, Alice Carter, and Owen all turned to see their captain, Tosh taking a step toward him protectively.  Jack should never sound like that … stunned, lost.  When he sounded like that, Suzie felt the world tilting under her feet, and it wasn’t right.  It reminded her that even when he got on her nerves (like every time he asked her for a status update on the glove), he was the most stable thing in her life, in her world.  Owen cleared his throat (actually, it was more like ‘gulped’) and everyone turned to look at him … although Tosh moved even closer to Jack, her expression reminding everyone not to underestimate the gentle tech.

“Uhm, boss-man … I kinda forgot to tell you this last night, but when your brother-in-law started the fight last night, I … uhm … well … I kindausedyourname,” Owen blurted out.  Suzie rolled her eyes, Carter actually face-palmed, while Jack’s expression turned thunderous.  But only for a moment.  Then he only looked resigned as he and Tosh joined them.  Suzie glanced from him to Alice and back again.  No.  No, they weren’t brother and sister, regardless of what Carter told her.  The dynamic was all wrong.  She couldn’t quite put her finger on it … and maybe it didn’t matter, but on the other hand, maybe it did.  Knowledge was power, after all.

And then Jack sighed, “We’ll talk about you using my name later, Owen.  C’mon, Alice, I’ll walk you out.  Suzie … thank you.”  She inclined her head and watched as Owen returned to work.  Tosh looked up at Jack, obviously concerned, and their captain smiled gently, touching her cheek as he murmured, “I’m fine, Toshiko.  Back in a few minutes.  But Suzie?  We do need to work out new protocols.  Alice already knew about the Hub, but we need to be more careful about that in the future.”  Suzie nodded.  Understood.  Open secret or not, that wasn’t the point … the security protocols were in place for a reason. 

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

Oh God.  Of all the stupid, _stupid_ things she could have done … there was no way she could possibly be any more mortified!

Under ordinary circumstances, Alice would have cooled down by morning and done the smart thing.  Like, calling her father and seeing what really happened.  After all, wasn’t that she was trying to teach Steven … to find out the whole story before making a decision?  How many times did she mediate a dispute between her little boy and one of his friends that way?  However, Joe kept her up all night with what he’d drunk making a return trip, and then Steven woke up with nightmares again.  She received maybe two hours of sleep, and might as well have not slept at all.  After she saw Steven off to school, Alice headed south to Cardiff to have things out with her father.  That was probably her first mistake.

She knew about the Hub, of course.  Hadn’t been down there for several years (to say the least), but she knew about it.  And the tourist office was built atop it, so there was likely an entrance in there somewhere.  It was just a matter of finding it.  She never anticipated coming face to face with one of the Torchwood operatives … or being dragged down into the Hub as if she was a recalcitrant child.  And she certainly never anticipated finding out that not only had her father kept his promise to her, but it was actually one of his people who used his name.  But as her father quietly led her from the Hub and back into the Tourist Office, what really haunted Alice was the expression on that woman’s face when she hissed that she would have given anything to have Jack as her brother or as her father … that Alice was lucky to have him. 

“You could have called me, you know.  I’m always happy to see you, of course, but you could have called me,” her father said, speaking for the first time since the encounter in the Hub.  Alice nodded.  Yes, she could have.  And if she was thinking, if she was capable of thinking clearly, she would have done just that.  As it was, Alice was feeling quite uneasy.  Not just because of that woman’s statement, about people who would love to have Jack as a father (easy to think, not so easy as a reality when your father was immortal and now looked like he should be your younger brother), but because her father was acting so unlike himself.

“I know.  I’m sorry.  Joe came home drunk last night … I wasn’t thinking, Jack.  I just wasn’t thinking,” Alice replied, realizing that she was just making excuses.  It was an uncomfortable feeling, since usually it was her father who was apologizing to her.  Jack merely nodded and Alice raised her eyes, just a little, just enough to see the look in his eyes.  She immediately wished she hadn’t, because it forced her to acknowledge that she’d hurt him.  No daughter wanted to see her father as vulnerable, but Alice had more reason than most.  Seeing him vulnerable started raising uncomfortable questions in her mind, questions that she wasn’t ready to have answered.  Not yet.

“How’s Steven?” her father asked, changing the subject, and Alice breathed a little easier, because this was a nice, neutral topic.  She felt as if she was standing on quicksand, and Steven was a little rock for her.  Too bad Joe saw him more as a millstone.  The sad thing was, every time her father looked at her, she knew he loved her.  He loved Steven and often paid more attention in their limited visits to her little boy than his own father did.   She wondered once again why her father didn’t fight her mother, why he didn’t fight for _her_. It seemed that he loved her, just not enough to fight for her when she needed him the most.

“He’s better now.  Had a set of nightmares last night,” she replied and didn’t miss the expression on her father’s face.  There was sadness and … empathy.  Perhaps it was because she was already feeling vulnerable, and maybe it was because she misjudged the situation so badly, but Alice had a sudden push to ask questions that haunted her for so many years … no matter how uncomfortable the questions themselves and their answers were.  She asked slowly, “What about you, Dad?  Do you have nightmares?”  Her father inhaled … but pasted a smile that wouldn’t have fooled Steven (much less Alice herself), and Alice continued, nodding a little, “You do, don’t you?  What kinds of nightmares?”  A minute tremor worked its way through her father’s body, something that Alice would have missed if she wasn’t watching him carefully.    

“Things I’ve seen … things I’ve done … things I can’t remember.  Things that you really don’t want to hear about, because if you did, you’d know for certain what a monster I can be.  The day your mother left with you … what could have happened to you if she hadn’t,” Jack replied.  Alice stopped, albeit briefly, because for the first time in her life, she thought … actually thought … about what being immortal meant.  She swallowed hard and picked up her pace, just enough to catch up with her father.  He continued, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he was talking to himself, “That’s why I didn’t argue with Lucia.  Torchwood is no place for a child, especially not with the enemies I’ve made over the course of my life.”  The woman felt her fingers curling into fists at her sides, because she heard that before, but this time, she would talk back.

“I _needed_ my dad,” Alice rasped out, just as softly.  She longed to say that to her mother so many times, knowing full well that Lucia Moretti would have countered that neither of them needed him.  But she was wrong.  Oh, she was so terribly wrong!  Jack looked at her quickly, and Alice continued thickly, “I needed my dad … I loved him so much, and I needed him, and I’m starting to think that maybe he needed me, too.”  That was part of what made those uncomfortable questions so damn uncomfortable … thinking about her father’s perspective during this whole mess.  The truth was, she was just as angry with her mother as she was with her father … but she had to deal with her mother, had to live with her mother, and so her anger was directed at her father.  He was a safe target, and that was when Alice’s fury with herself truly ignited.

“Never stopped.  But more than that, I needed for you to be _safe_ ,” was Jack’s response and Alice closed her eyes.  He continued after a moment, “I needed for you to be safe, and I … I didn’t want you to be hurt worse than you already were.  If I’d fought your mother, it would have torn you apart and that was the last thing I wanted.”  Alice wanted to protest, wanted to tell him that he was wrong, wanted even to tell him that he was lying, like he always lied, but her protests died on her lips.  It was just as well, because the words were like ash on her tongue.  Ash, because she knew that he was right.  She saw what her friends went through with their divorces, how ugly they got, especially when children were involved.  She saw the way those children suffered and … realized that her father was right.  Jack said softly, kissing the top of her head, “I can call a cab for you, take you back to the train station.”

He started to move away.  Moving away, shutting her out, pushing her away.  Alice blinked back tears, because dammit, it wasn’t fair.  But she always made it clear that she wanted very little to do with him, and as ever, her father was honoring her wishes.  That meant … that meant that she had to take responsibility, the responsibility she’d pushed onto her father’s (admittedly broad) shoulders for all these years.  Alice swallowed hard and said clearly, “No.  Not a cab.  I want you to take me.”  There was so much pain between them, they hurt each other so deeply, and they couldn’t reconcile right now.  But they could at least start building a road back to each other.   Her father turned to look at her, and she winced at his incredulous look.

Alice took a deep breath, reached across that abyss that stretched across mere inches (and eternity) to take his hand, and said, “I want you to drive me to the train station, Dad.  I’ve heard Mum’s side of the story for all these years.  The least I owe you, especially after the way I behaved this morning, is to hear yours.  Please, Dad?”  His hand settled on the phone receiver, and then he raised his head, nodding ever so slightly.  But it was enough.  For now, it was enough.  But she still wondered about that woman Suzie and the way her dark eyes burned when she bitterly spoke of how there were people who would be glad to have Jack as a father.  What happened to her … what caused her to say such a thing?

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

When he woke up this morning after his usual few hours of sleep, this was not how he expected the day to go.  Really, it wasn’t.  He was accustomed to bizarre after more than a hundred years with Torchwood, but this was a whole new level of strange for him.  Melissa … Alice … made it clear that she didn’t trust him, that he was a disruption to her life and Steven’s life.  He could understand why she came all the way from London to tell him off (even though it was Owen who fought with Joe, and he would be having a talk with his doctor about _that_ when he returned from the train station).  However, first he needed to text Suzie and let her know that he was taking Alice to the station for her return to London.

They were silent as they drove to the station, Alice looking at him several from the passenger side, opening her mouth as if to say something, before closing it.  When she finally brought herself to ask a question, it wasn’t the one he was anticipating.  His daughter asked, “Dad, how much do you know about that Suzie woman?  The one who took me down into the Hub?”  Jack frowned.  Really not the question he was anticipating, but it made sense.

“In terms of personal life … not much.  Suzie keeps her personal life private, and I’ve always respected that.  If she was comfortable with telling me things, I’d listen, but I won’t force her,” Jack answered.  The truth was, Suzie had deep wounds of her own, and Jack wanted to help her, but had no idea how to go about doing it.  There was a part of him that feared he and Torchwood broke her even further … and was there any way to stop it?  He thought of Alex and his dead friends five years earlier, and his heart hurt.

“She said something … that there were people who would love to have you as a brother, or even as a father … and there was such bitterness in her voice, as if someone hurt her so badly,” Alice told him.  She paused, bit her lip, and then asked, “Is she one of your lovers?”  Jack barely managed to keep from laughing, because it was a perfectly legitimate questions, and the stars knew that he found Suzie attractive, but … Alice continued, looking a bit abashed, “I’m sorry, that didn’t quite come out the way I meant it.  It’s just … I know you …” She began to blush and stammer as she tried to figure out a way to say what she wanted to say.  Jack waited patiently at first, and then … 

And then, he took pity on her, saying, “Yes, I find her attractive … I’ve thought about it … but it never got that far.  All right?”  Alice bobbed her head fiercely, and Jack changed the subject, because there were just some things you didn’t want to discuss with your children, no matter how old they were.  In his heart, Alice was still his little Melissa, never mind that she had a child of her own now (and a husband who didn’t deserve either of them).  To his surprise (and relief), Alice didn’t ask any questions about the past, because he honestly wasn’t sure he was ready to have that conversation.  He could go up against the Slitheen, against the Hoix, against the Weevil, but asking him to have a heart-to-heart with his child, and … No.

There was a second, more companionable silence, one that last several moments as Jack drove through Cardiff, before Alice asked next, “Does that Owen use your name often when he gets into fights?”  This time, Jack laughed outright and Alice added, sounding amused as well, “I’ll take that as a ‘no.’ I really was quite foolish, wasn’t I?  Joe’s mates kept talking about ‘the little guy,’ and I should have taken note of that.  You are _not_ small.”  Jack couldn’t help himself … he glanced at his daughter, arching his brows at her cheekily.  Alice laughed this time, lightly swatting his shoulder as she snickered, “Oh, stop that!”

“Why?” Jack asked quite logically.  Alice made a face at him, and he laughed again.  Her features relaxed into a smile, and Jack began talking about the changes in Cardiff (taking great care to avoid mentioning Mayor Margaret Blaine, since he already knew how that ended, thanks to the first time he was here with the Doctor and Rose).  He told her more about Suzie, told her about Owen, and about Toshiko … how he found Toshiko.  Her eyes darkened as he described in the barest terms how he found her, but Alice could fill in the rest.  As he pulled up in front of the station, he asked softly, hesitantly, “Call me when you get back to the house safely?”

Alice had a moment of hesitation of her own, and then her eyes turned determined and he was sure that she would say ‘no.’  But he received yet another surprise when instead, she nodded, answering, “I will, Jack, I promise.”  There was another hesitation, before she told him, “This isn’t an ending.  It’s a beginning, and I’m not sure what lies ahead for the two of us, much less Steven.”  Jack bobbed his head, because that was the one thing he was certain of.  Alice murmured, “When I’m an old lady, you’ll still be young and beautiful, and I still don’t know how to come to terms with that … looking older than my father.”   She said that before, especially after Steven was born, but this time, there was a new note in her voice.  In the past, she was bitter, but now … now, she just sounded lost.

Jack was familiar with that feeling.  He’d been feeling lost ever since he awoke on Satellite Five, his chest aching at first from the Dalek blast and then from seeing his only home dematerialize before his very eyes.  There was more to be said between them, but for now, Jack had one gift to give his daughter before she got out of the car.  For the first time in so long, there was something between them aside from bitterness and resentment, and Jack couldn’t let this chance slip by.  He put his hand over hers and told her, “I can’t tell you how to do that, sweetheart.  Half the time, I don’t know how to do that myself.  There … there was a woman, in World War II.  Estelle.  I’ve told her that I’m the son of her Jack, because how do I explain to her that I can’t stay dead, that I don’t seem to age?  I know it’s lying … that’s part of why you and your mother don’t trust me.  But it’s the only way that seems to work, that doesn’t involve some dodgy type trying to grab me and experiment on me.  I don’t mean to hurt you.”

Alice turned over the hand he held, so that their fingers entwined, and murmured, “I never thought of it that way.  But … I probably should have.  A man who can’t stay dead … there are a lot of monsters in human flesh who would love to get their hands on someone like that, someone like you.”  There was a flash in her eyes, and she said slowly, “And that was another reason you didn’t fight that hard against Mum … because you were afraid that I would get caught in the crossfire, if something like that happened to you.   Something like that … that’s happened to you before, hasn’t it?”

Jack swallowed hard, not sure if he was ready to tell Alice about Angelo and that horrific night in 1928.  Some of his trepidation must have shown in his face, because his daughter’s other hand came to rest on his and Alice said, “You don’t have to give me the details.  Not yet.  I can see it in your eyes, Daddy.  But you’ll have to tell me someday … not because I have to know, but because you’ve been carrying it entirely too long.”  Jack nodded, more than a little shocked.  He didn’t want to tell her, didn’t want her to have those nightmares, but he had the sense that telling her, even a little bit, would go far in repairing their relationship.  She smiled then and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, saying, “Good.  You may not believe me, Dad, but I do love you.  So very much.  And this time, somehow, we’re going to get it right, you and I.”

“I love you,” he rasped out, because that was yet another surprise in what was becoming a day of surprises.  He was blessed with a smile from his daughter that was like the sun coming up and another kiss, and then Alice was out of the car and heading for the station.  Jack watched her go, still trying to work out just what the hell happened.  What was said, in those moments between Suzie’s arrival in the Hub with Alice and Jack’s return from lunch with Tosh?  What did Suzie say to his daughter that engendered that kind of response?  Alice said that Suzie told her that there were people who would be happy to have Jack as a brother or even as a father … that was most likely the place to start.

When he returned to the Hub, he would need to talk to his second-in-command.  First, to figure out new protocols if something like this ever happened again (ie, someone who clearly knew about the Hub and about Jack himself showing up) … and then, he needed to know what prompted Suzie to tell Alice that.  Oh, and he couldn’t forget about having a little conversation with Owen about using his name during bar fights.  It wasn’t so much that he minded, but the next time Owen did it, Jack would appreciate having a little head’s up in the future.  Although, he truly hoped that this didn’t happen again.  Torchwood was strange enough on its own, but when you added families and children into the mixed, it became considerably stranger.   

 

TBC 


	3. Confession is Good for the Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tosh swings back and forth between amusement and exasperation; Suzie and Jack have a heart-to-heart; and Steven sees a lot more than people give him credit for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People might find Steven’s protectiveness of Alice and Jack strange, given that he’s a very little boy. That’s based on what I’ve observed of my own nieces and nephews, as well as a little boy who used to live next door to my family with his parents and older brother. When he was about three or four, it was learned that his oldest brother (who lived with his mother) was abused and neglected, and the toddler swore that he ‘would beat her butt’ (the mother of his half-brother). Little kids can be very protective.

“You are **so** dead!” Owen Harper exclaimed gleefully as soon as Suzie told him that Jack was returning from the train station.  He lounged against Suzie’s desk, arms folded over his chest and his face alight with a particularly mischievous grin.  Toshiko Sato just rolled her eyes at the physician before trying to focus on her program once more.  Yes, she had a crush on Owen, but really, was it necessary to behave in such an obnoxious manner?  She didn’t imagine Jack would be particularly pleased with Owen either, not just for using his name like that, but not warning Jack about it.  As strange as it might have sounded, Tosh was actually quite protective of Jack.  Not just because he saved her from UNIT, but because within six months of her release into custody, he personally drove her to see her mother.  When she realized where she was, she whispered, ‘ _but UNIT …!_ ’  He merely smiled at her, murmuring to let him deal with UNIT … her mother need to see for herself that she was all right.  Tosh knew so well what she owed to Jack … yes, she was infatuated with Owen, but she couldn’t imagine a time when she would choose the doctor over Jack. 

Suzie caught sight of Tosh’s expression as the tech wizard listened to the conversation, and the second in command dropped a sly wink in response.  Tosh bit back a grin.  This could be entertaining, listening to another edition of the Owen and Suzie snark-fest (it almost always was, really), but she promised Jack that she would have more progress on this program by the time she left today (since she had to leave early the previous night, something she dared to point out to Jack, much to his delight).  She ducked her head, grinning briefly at Suzie.

And that worthy lady snarked right back, “You aren’t in Jack’s good books right now any more than I am, Harper.  In fact, I think it might be safe to say that you’re in bigger trouble.”  And speaking of the Owen-Suzie snark fest, they were off again.  Although, Tosh had to admit, she had an excellent point.  And really, it didn’t matter to her who was in more trouble, as long as they didn’t interfere with her work (and she didn’t let Jack down).  Suzie taunted, “You know how Jack is about apologies versus making things right.  So here’s the question, Owen:  which one of us will learn from our mistakes?  I was probably wrong to drag Jack’s … sister down here, but you were absolutely wrong to use his name.  It doesn’t matter that he can take care of himself, that’s not the point.  How would you like it if Jack used your name, maybe when he was picking someone up?”  _Oooh, ouch_!  Tosh raised her head, to see Owen’s mouth working without any sound coming out.

The silence lasted a very brief time (but that didn’t mean Tosh enjoyed it any less, even though she became very good at shutting distractions out), because Owen quickly rallied, “It depends on what he was using it for … there are times when I wouldn’t mind him using my name!  If he was using my name to pick up other blokes, that’s one thing, but … well … I’m sure there would be a time when I would be okay with him doing it.”  Tosh rolled her eyes and shook her head, because really, what else could she do?  Especially since Jack’s return was announced quite loudly.  As the Hub door rolled back, revealing their captain, Owen all but meeped and traipsed back down into the autopsy bay. 

If he was trying to get out of the line of fire before Jack noticed him, well … it was too late.  Way too late.  Jack called down after him as he entered the main part of the Hub, “Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that conversation, Owen.”  Suzie and Tosh exchanged a look, and Tosh bit her lip, lowering her head to keep it from being obvious that she was laughing.  Jack continued, “Suzie, give me about thirty, maybe thirty-five minutes, and then we’ll work on those protocols.”  Owen poked his head out of the med-bay just long to stick his tongue out at Suzie, and then disappeared again before Jack could grab him.  Tosh returned her attention to her work, trying not to feel disappointed that Jack wasn’t telling her anything, when she felt a pair of lips against the side of her head.  Jack whispered, “And you, Toshiko, keep doing what you’re doing.”

Tosh blushed, but sat up just a little straighter in her chair.  From the med-bay, Owen bellowed, “Teacher’s pet!”  Tosh was fairly certain that he meant Suzie, considering he couldn’t have heard Jack’s words to her.  Whether it was to defend her honor or Tosh’s, it didn’t seem to make a difference.  Suzie’s dark eyes hardened and she left her seat, racing down into the autopsy bay.  Jack hadn’t yet moved from his position behind Tosh, and he watched with obvious amusement as his second in command chased their doctor around his own autopsy bay.  Tosh tried not to giggle, but a sidelong glance at Jack, who winked at her cheekily, put an end to that.  Jack kissed the side of her head again, before bounding up to his office.

Tosh shook her head again and returned her full attention to her current project.  She was slowly become accustomed to being free again, and thankfully, both Jack and Suzie were always there when she needed them.  They were both quite protective of her in their own ways.  Although … Tosh hesitated, because since Suzie started working on the glove, she noticed … well, something was different.  She wasn’t sure yet that it was good different or bad different, but it was different, and people were far harder for Tosh to read.  However, she resolved to keep an eye on Suzie, because that was what friends did, and she owed the other woman, so much.

Things were mostly silent for the next forty-five minutes (especially after Suzie finished chasing Owen around his autopsy bay with his own scalpel … and Tosh already made sure to save that footage for Jack to enjoy later, as it would no doubt amuse him), but eventually, Jack called down, “Suzie?  Whenever you’re ready!”  Suzie, who had been working on the glove again, rose to her feet with a piece of paper in her right hand, squared shoulders, and a determined expression.  Tosh mouthed, ‘ _you’ll be fine_ ,’ and Suzie offered her a rueful smile, before traipsing upstairs to their boss.

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

As it turned out, Suzie’s new protocols for the security of the Tourist Office met with Jack’s approval, and that caused a warm glow that would likely last for the rest of the day.  At least until Jack stared at her with soft blue eyes … that warned Suzie that what was to come would be far more difficult for her.  He said very gently, “Suzie, I talked to Alice on the way to the train station.  There were … she was a bit concerned about you, particularly about your reaction to my admitted over-protectiveness.”

_Damn_.  She should have known this would have come back to bite her in the arse.  However , Suzie put her best mask on (Jack wasn’t the only one who wore masks after all) and replied, “Just didn’t like her making assumptions that she had no business making, especially since she admitted that her husband and his mates kept making references to ‘ _that little bloke_.’  I don’t pretend to know or understand the relationship between you two, Jack … I was an only child, so I’ve got no point of reference.  But I didn’t like her making assumptions and behaving the way she was, throwin’ her weight around as if she owns this place.  She isn’t Torchwood, Jack, she doesn’t get to behave that way in our base.”

“She’s more Torchwood than she’s willing to admit and more than you know,” was Jack’s rather cryptic response.  Then again, Suzie was accustomed to that.  What she wasn’t accustomed to was Jack continuing in a quiet voice, “I appreciate you being protective of me, and the base, but that didn’t answer my question.  There was more to it than Alice making assumptions that you didn’t care for.  It was … in her words … very personal.  As if what she was saying offended you on a deep level.”

It was at that point that Suzie realized she had to get out, go, right now, right now, _right now_.  Her heart started racing as she realized that Jack wouldn’t let this go.  Normally, he didn’t interfere in the personal lives of his team, unless he was concerned that their personal issues would impact the team as a whole.  Which meant …  Suzie shuddered, and Jack murmured, “Suzie, I’m not demanding that you tell me.  I would never do that.  I … I just want you to know that if you get to the point where you feel you can trust me, I won’t betray that trust.” 

She couldn’t quite keep from laughing bitterly, “Trust?  It isn’t about trust, Jack.”  And she knew instantly that she’d made a mistake.  Not because he wouldn’t back off, but because he would.  Could she tell him?  The whole unvarnished truth?  Tell him why she was so envious of his sister for having a brother (or whatever they were to each other) who would look after her … tell him why she would … tell him any of it?  She didn’t want to.  There were old wounds that were already re-opened, did she dare rub salt in those wounds?  It would take her a few days, a few weeks for those wounds to scab over, was it worth it to tell Jack, when it clearly didn’t pertain to Torchwood or anything else that was his concern?

No.  No, it wasn’t, and Suzie rose, with the full intention of walking out and returning to work now that their business for Torchwood was concluded.  There was still a lot of research to be done on the glove, and she promised she would help Tosh with verification of their tech’s results.  There was a lot of work to be done.  She started for the door, but her feet betrayed her and she found herself turning back toward Jack, heard herself saying, “This … it isn’t about trust, Jack.  At least, not the way you mean.  But I learned at a very early age to fear the creak of the board, and the sound of my father’s breathing in a dark room.”  Suzie stared at Jack, horrified as the words came out … but not nearly as horrified as Jack’s expression as he heard what she said and as he put those words into context.  And of course, because he was Jack and because he knew what monsters humans could be, he came up with exactly the correct conclusion.

“That _bastard_ ,” he hissed, handsome face giving way to something alien and furious and terrifying and beautiful for all that.  Suzie stared at him in horror and fascination, because this was a mask and yet it wasn’t a mask, either.  Was this Jack’s true face, the true face he wore when he was angry?  She didn’t know.  When he added, his voice as cold as the Northern tundra, “That bastard, he _hurt_ you,” there was another explosion of warmth in Suzie’s chest, because she knew, she KNEW, that if she had Captain Jack Harkness in her life at that time, no harm would have come to her.  And with that knowledge, the words came spilling out of her in a deluge, words long dammed up by self-loathing and hurt and shame.  Her feet returned her to Jack’s desk, and her knees started to give way … but Jack didn’t let her fall.  His hands gripped her forearms, and she knew she should have yelled at him for touching her without her permission, she knew she should be angry, but this touch was supportive, protective.  The only way Jack’s touch would ever hurt her was if she hurt someone else first.

She even told him about the night her mother died, bundling her into the car, murmuring, ‘ _come, my little one … shh, be silent, all will be well.  I am sorry, my Susana, so very sorry_.’  She told him about how her mother begged her forgiveness for not protecting her from her father, for lacking the courage Suzie had even as a nine year old child.  She told him about the crash that killed her mother and kept her away from her father for so long … but not long enough.  And by the time she was finished, her head resting against Jack’s chest, body trembling, there was no strength left in her.  Jack whispered, “I know I should have asked permission before I touched you, but can I hold you properly now?”

Suzie gave a watery laugh, rasping out, “I should be angry with you for touching me while I was telling you about that, but I don’t think I’d want to be on the floor for this.  Please … yes, please.”  Jack pulled her back to his chair and then drew her into his arms, onto his lap, and Suzie found herself curling up in his embrace, which was neither too tight nor too loose, but made her feel safe and comforted.  She buried her face against his chest, inhaling that wonderful scent that sometimes kindled lust in her … and other times, like now, when it made her feel safe and protected and loved. 

Jack kissed her forehead, stroking her hair back from her face, and murmured, “If you want me to handle it, I will.”  Handle it.  He meant he would kill her father, if she asked him to.  Suzie thought about telling him that her father would never hurt anyone again, that he was a shadow of what he was, a hollow shell of the man of Suzie’s childhood.  She thought about saying yes … she _wanted_ to say yes, she wanted to stand over her father’s helpless body and do the deed herself.  She wanted to destroy him, and she wanted him to know that he was dying by her hand.

But in the end, she whispered, “No.  No, I …” What?  Suzie held onto Jack, trying to sort through what she wanted, what she thought, what she was feeling.  How did she feel?  Wrung-out.  Yes, she felt wrung-out, she felt exhausted, and … curiously light.  As if something in her chest dissolved, allowing her to breathe again.  She raised her head to look at him, his blue eyes now warm and kind and compassionate, and Suzie answered hoarsely, “No, Jack.  I love you for making the offer, but it’s not your responsibility, it’s not your fight.  Honestly, I’m not even sure if it’s mine any more.  The truth is, I’m tired of giving him power over me.”

“It’s not quite that easy, Suze, but it’s your decision.  I’m sorry,” Jack murmured.  It wasn’t those ‘ _I’m sorry_ ’ apologies that he hated (and Suzie hated as well, come to that) … it was more like ‘ _I’m sorry that happened to you_.’  Which didn’t do anything, but Suzie could accept that.  He kissed her forehead again, saying softly, “You know that even if I knew you back then, there might not have been anything I could have done?  I might not have been able to save you.”  Suzie tightened her arms around Jack’s neck.

“I know,” she admitted against his shoulder, “but that’s not the point.  You wouldn’t have done that to your daughter or to your sister.  For that reason alone, I envy Alice.  She doesn’t know how lucky she is, especially when it comes to having someone willing to fight for her … even willing to kill for her, if the circumstances are right.”  His arms tightened around her convulsively, and his body trembled against hers.  Suzie had the oddest feeling that he was either laughing (unlikely) or weeping (but that didn’t make sense, either).  Whether it made sense or not, Suzie felt the need now to comfort her boss, rubbing the back of his neck and stroking the soft hair under her fingers.

“Don’t put me in a box, Suzie … don’t put me in a box and _don’t_ put me on a pedestal.  I think you’ll find when you talk to Alice, she wouldn’t choose me for … for brother of the year, and rightfully so,” Jack answered hoarsely.  That was probably true … well, that Alice Carter wouldn’t choose Jack for brother of the year (the other was up for debate) and heaven knew that Suzie would never do her boss the disservice of putting him on a pedestal.  Oh, there were times when she was tempted to do just that, they all were at one time or another, even Owen … but Jack had a way of reminding people just how human and imperfect he was.  It was usually small stuff, but as she well knew, small made all the difference.

She was on the verge of pointing this out, when Jack continued, his breath warm against her skin, “I’m not telling you this because … There have been times in my life when I’ve done terrible things … hurt people terribly, Suzie.  Sometimes, it was because there was no other way if I wanted this world to keep spinning … sometimes, it was because I was in pain myself and wanted others to hurt, too … and there were other times when I just didn’t give a damn.  Don’t make the mistake of thinking that I’m this great hero, because I’m not.  I can’t be sure I would have been able to save you, or even tried.”  Suzie pulled away at that, and glowered at him, which drew a reluctant smile.

“Now you’re being a great sodding git, Jack Harkness.  I told you … I know you might not have been able to save me … might have chosen not to save me, because if you had saved me, the world might have ended on that particular night … might have even been prevented from it by something else.  But what counts to me is that you were willing to fight for me, were willing to kill for me.  Not because it would have given you leverage over me, but because of that great big bloody heart of yours.  And you’re wrong about one other thing, too … you are a hero, a big damn hero, and I won’t hear you say otherwise, understood?” Suzie told him sternly.  That reluctant smile widened and that was answer enough for Suzie.  She nestled back into his arms, murmuring, “I should have told you about this a long time ago.  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you … well, more recently.  It’s just that there are some pains that are too big to share.”  His arms tightened around her once more.

“I understand that.  Better than you think,” was the response.  Suzie hugged him a little tighter in response, because if there was one thing that all four of them understood, it was hurt too deep to talk about.  Even that prat Owen knew … and Suzie could see it in Tosh’s eyes.  She didn’t know it, but her future just changed for the second time in the last few hours.  There was one more test to come for Susana Costello, a test that would decide whether she would end her time at Torchwood as a murderer or as a heroine.  At that moment, settled in Jack’s lap, enfolded in his arms, she only knew that she wasn’t alone any more, that she wouldn’t allow her father the final victory.  She only knew that she was (almost) free.

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

Steven Carter was five years old and he was much smarter, and far more perceptive, than people around him realized … except maybe his Uncle Jack, who wasn’t really his uncle.  Not that Steven knew what the word ‘perceptive’ meant, and thus couldn’t use it in a sentence.  No one knew, but Steven heard his mummy call Uncle Jack ‘dad’ sometimes.  And if Uncle Jack was really Mummy’s dad, that meant he had to be Steven’s grandfather.  That, by itself, was confusing.  The grandmas and grandpas whom Steven knew were all old, a lot older than Mummy.  And Uncle Jack wasn’t old.  But he knew what he heard, and the one time he questioned Mummy about it, she just looked upset and tried to say that it was a joke, that she was teasing Uncle Jack because he was acting like her dad. 

He didn’t say anything more, because Daddy made Mummy cry a lot, especially when she didn’t think Steven could see or hear her, but that didn’t mean Steven didn’t actually see or hear her crying.  And he felt that same fierce protectiveness that many children felt for their parents, so he wasn’t particularly upset when he didn’t see his father.  Daddy made Mummy cry?  Steven didn’t want to see Daddy any more.  Seeing Uncle Jack upset Mummy too, but the little boy saw that Uncle Jack was hurting as well.  He always looked so sad when he left their house, Steven could see that even if he was supposed to be in bed … he’d wait at the top of the stairs.  The little boy could never hear what was being said, but he saw how sad Uncle Jack looked.  He loved them both, and he didn’t like it when the people whom he loved were hurt.

Mummy was sad last night … he knew that when he woke up from his nightmares, he could see it in her eyes.  She was sad last night, and she was angry when he left for school this morning.  She pretended like she wasn’t, but she was.  Steven knew his mummy’s mad face, and her mad but pretending not to be mad, and her sad face.  And now, she wasn’t wearing her mad face … sad, more like.  That didn’t prevent her from scooping him into her arms and hugging him tightly, kissing the side of his head, the way Uncle Jack did when Steven ran into his arms and Uncle Jack called him ‘soldier.’  She told him that she saw his Uncle Jack that day, and since Daddy was working late tonight, she asked his uncle to come to dinner. 

Steven couldn’t help himself.  After demonstrating his complete and total approval of that plan (much squealing and hugging his mother with delight, because not only was Uncle Jack coming to dinner, but Mummy was making Steven’s favorites), he had to ask, “Is it because Daddy got drunk last night?”  That sadness came back into his mother’s eyes, and Steven said tearfully, “I’m sorry, Mummy, I didn’t mean to make you sad.”  But Mummy hugged him again, kissing the top of his head.  Steven held onto her as well, feeling as if Mummy needed him to hug her, and that was something he could do.

“You didn’t make me sad, sweet boy.  Uncle Jack is coming to dinner, because I wasn’t kind to him, and I thought he did something wrong … but he didn’t.  I want to make things right with him.  Besides, I know how much you love him,” Mummy replied.  Steven looked up at her, and Mummy smiled, adding, “You love him, and he loves you, Steven, so very much.  I misjudged Uncle Jack, and I think it’s long past time that I stopped letting your grandma dictate my actions and the way I think.  Do you remember what I told you when you got mad at Sarita, because you thought she hurt Dori’s feelings?”  Steven nodded, because he remembered that very well.  Mummy said that he had to always remember that there were two sides to every story, and that he had to hear both sides of the story before he made decisions.  Mummy continued, “Turns out that I need to remember my own advice, because I hurt Uncle Jack very much.  The truth is, we’ve hurt each other.”

“But you forgive him, ‘cause you love him, just like he forgives you, ‘cause he loves you.  That’s what you told me,” Steven pointed out, and his mother smiled again.  As she did sometimes when he was calming down, Steven wiped away her tears with his thumbs, and Mummy laughed, though there were still tears in her eyes.  Steven added, “Uncle Jack loves you, too, Mummy.  He said that he’s not always been there when you needed him, but he told me that there was never a time when he didn’t love you, when you weren’t in his heart.”  Personally, Steven thought that was a funny thing to say … Mummy was too big to fit inside Uncle Jack’s heart.

And Mummy’s eyes filled with fresh tears.  Steven started to apologize, because he hadn’t wanted to upset her.  He wanted to make her happy, ‘cause Uncle Jack loved her just as much as he loved Steven.  Mummy said softly, “I know that now, honey.  But I was angry with Uncle Jack because when I needed him, he couldn’t be there for me.  Not because he didn’t want to be, but because he couldn’t be.  I thought something was more important to me, and that hurt.  But I was wrong, and because I was wrong, I hurt you, and I hurt Uncle Jack, and I hurt myself.  You remember when I told you that sometimes people who love each other hurt each other the worst of all?  That’s what happened.  I thought your uncle Jack didn’t love me enough, but the truth is, he loved me too much.  So.  We’re gonna start over … you and me and Uncle Jack.  There will be times when I get mad at him, or he’ll get mad at me, but we both love you, so very much.”

“Love you, too, Mummy,” Steven told her, kissing her cheek.  He was swept into another embrace.  As Steven cuddled in his mother’s arms, she said something very strange.  He couldn’t quite make out everything she was saying, but he could tell that his mummy was mad at her mummy, because her mummy lied to her about Uncle Jack.  Steven hugged her tighter, because he didn’t want her to be angry or sad anymore.

 

TBC


	4. A Dinner to Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack does what he does best (and no, I don’t mean dying); Suzie learns the truth about her boss; Alice takes a few, brave steps forward; and Steven handles it better than just about anyone else.

London, England

Two months later

 

All right, admittedly, chasing the team doctor around his autopsy bay with his own scalpel was hardly the safest thing she’d ever done.  And when you worked for Torchwood, that covered a _lot_ of territory.  And it wasn’t as if she was a child, after all … but oh, the look on Owen’s face when she waved the (capped) scalpel at him was nothing short of priceless!  Of course, she knew that she’d hear from Jack later on, but damn, Owen had it coming.  He’d been a perfect arse all week (as opposed to Jack, who _had_ a perfect arse … what?  She could look, couldn’t she?) and his snide comment about ‘teacher’s pet’ was the final straw for her.

That wasn’t taking into account the meeting in Jack’s office.  Telling him _hurt_. Maybe not so surprising, since it was a secret she’d kept for most of her life.  She never thought she’d tell anyone about those horrors.  But the words fairly gushed out of her, and worse, once she stopped and thought about it, she realized that she didn’t want to stop the words.  It wasn’t that she wanted to tell him … she just didn’t want the words to _stop_ , either.

The truth was, with the words out and Jack’s offer to protect her, Suzie felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.  And, bless him, he hadn’t suggested therapy or even ‘ _someone to talk to_.’  That would have been a huge-arse insult to her, and he damn well knew it.  But he didn’t belittle her intelligence by stating the obvious.  Nor did he bring it up again after that.  He was a little more cautious in how he touched her, but nothing overt … nothing that Tosh and Owen would pick up on.  So, when she found out that he’d been having dinner with his sister and nephew in London, Suzie kept it to herself. 

It wasn’t that hard.  Owen wasn’t interested in what Jack did or didn’t do, while Tosh respected his privacy.  She didn’t remark on the … oddity … of it when Jack shyly (?!?!) asked if she would like to accompany him to dinner at his sister’s, too … instead, she told him that she would love to accompany him and waited until they were crossing the bridge to ask the story behind the invitation.  Jack offered a gentle smile, explaining that Alice wanted to thank her for setting her straight … in the weeks since their initial encounter, Jack went to his sister’s for dinner at least once a week.  Since it never would have happened without Suzie, Alice wanted to thank her with a home-cooked meal.  Suzie impishly observed that maybe Alice should have invited Owen as well, since it was his little white lie (as he liked to call it) that set all of it into motion.  The two looked at each other before mouthing ‘ _no_ ’ in nearly perfect unison and laughing aloud.  That particular dinner party could only end in disaster, especially with Steven there.  Owen would end up biting his tongue more than he would the food, to keep from swearing in front of Steven.

The pair was warmly welcomed into Alice’s home, Jack sweeping the other brunette into his arms.  He stopped just short of twirling her around, but it was a near thing.  And once more, Suzie had the strangest sense that they weren’t brother and sister.  They were related … the resemblance between them made that obvious … but the way they interacted was just not right for how she saw other siblings behave.  She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was there, and it was nagging at her mind.  And as her teammates well knew from her many projects, Suzie Costello regarded it as a personal affront when she couldn’t figure something out.

Dinner, not surprisingly, was wonderful, and Suzie was thoroughly amused not only by Jack’s (heavily-edited) storytelling, but by the chance in his eating habits while he was around Steven.  At work, during their lunch breaks, Jack shoveled his food into his mouth and continued to talk.  During their (many) conversations about their boss, Tosh quietly advanced the theory that in the past, it was necessary for him to do that.  Owen grumbled it couldn’t possibly be necessary, but Suzie wasn’t so sure.  They didn’t know enough about Jack to be sure about much of anything, and then she reminded herself that they could say the same thing about her.

After dinner, Suzie was treated to the sight of her captain playing ‘horsie’ for Steven, the little boy clinging to Jack’s braces as her captain pretended to rear back, ‘neighing’ and pawing at the air.  And if Jack’s laughter was any indication, he was enjoying this as much as Steven was.  But what truly intrigued her was the expression on Alice’s face as the two males played … that look of wistfulness as she watched the pair.  It was odd, but she watched Alice’s reactions to Jack and Steven at play almost as much as she watched her captain and his ‘nephew’ … she supposed she was hoping to see something that would make the picture a little clearer for her.  It wasn’t happening, not even when a giggling Steven collapsed into Jack’s lap and was drawn tightly into his uncle’s arms.

Nor did it happen until Jack cheerfully offered to take the trash out for Alice, an offer that was gratefully accepted.  Suzie suppressed a smile, listening to Jack singing softly in the kitchen, and Alice murmured, “I never thought he was capable of any of this.  I keep wondering what else don’t I know about him, and that list just seems to keep growing.”  Suzie looked at the other woman, who was now cuddling her son.  Alice looked toward the kitchen again as they heard the door close, and Jack’s female relative said softly, “I suppose it’s strange for you, seeing us together.  I’ve noticed the way you watched us.  You know …”

She trailed off, frowning as she heard something … obviously the same something that Suzie heard.  Cursing herself for leaving her gun in the car (yeah, it would really do her a lot of good in the bloody glove box), Suzie rose to her feet, motioning for Alice and Steven to stay put while she investigated the sound … and whether Jack needed help.  There was no doubt in her mind that whatever was going on, he was right in the middle of it.  Just as she should have had no doubt that despite what she said (or indicated), Alice would no more listen than Jack would have in the exact same situation … which was why she just sighed and rolled her eyes when she noticed Alice (and Steven) creeping behind her as she approached the kitchen door. 

But what she couldn’t have expected was to find her boss lying bloody and stunned on the kitchen floor, and an unfamiliar man standing above him with an equally bloody pointed object in his hand.  Alice muttered, “Joe?”  Joe, Suzie knew, was Alice’s husband … the same S.O.B. who bragged about cheating about Alice and started the fight with Owen in the pub months earlier.  Jack was struggling to his feet, one hand pressed to a wound just above the waistline of his trousers on his right side.   Alice repeated, drawing closer to Suzie, “Joe, what are you doing, why did you attack my f … why did you attack my brother?  What’s going on?”

“Your brother?  You must really think I’m stupid, Alice … you don’t have any brothers, or sisters, for that matter!  Your mum told me when we first started dating that you don’t have any siblings,” the man snorted.  Suzie nodded to herself, her eyes shifted to Jack just long enough to be sure that he was mostly all right, before looking back at Joe Carter.  Well, she was right about one thing, but that would have to wait until later.  When she looked at Jack, she realized that he was biding his time … lulling Joe Carter into a false sense of security.  She kept her face a neutral mask, but inside, she was smiling.  Whatever Jack was planning, she’d be ready.

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

Jack wanted one thing made perfectly clear … under normal circumstances, he wouldn’t have allowed a pillock like his son-in-law get the better of him.  Most of the time, even when he was supposedly relaxed, he was on his guard.  Unfortunately, when he realized that the man approaching him was Joe, Jack’s guard relaxed.  The man was cheating on Alice, and was a less than stellar father to Steven (not that Jack had room to talk, according to himself or his daughter), but neither of those facts made him dangerous.

That was Jack’s greatest mistake, at least in this situation.  He was still a bit discombobulated over his daughter’s growing acceptance of having him in her life.  Even after two months of slightly tense, but over all good, dinners and reading Steven a bedtime story (with Alice listening from the doorway), he still half-expected Alice’s bitterness to make a resurgence and for her to tell him that it would be better if he didn’t return … that she didn’t want to confuse Steven as he got older and realized that his uncle wasn’t aging.  So far, it hadn’t happened … but that didn’t mean that it wouldn’t.  That was actually what he was thinking about when his son-in-law returned home from … wherever.

After greeting Joe, he returned his attention to fitting the garbage bag into the bin … and felt a stinging pain in his side.  Two minutes later, he found himself lying face down on his daughter’s floor, biting back a gasp of pain as Joe kicked him in his injured side and praying that Suzie wouldn’t investigate.  He knew better, of course … more to the point, he knew Suzie better than that … but at least she tried to keep Alice and Steven in the other room.  Try, of course, being the operative word … Alice was both his and Lucia’s daughter, after all.  He spent the next segment of time, listening as his son-in-law (though not for much longer) ranted about knowing that Alice didn’t have any siblings. _Thanks ever so much for that, Lucia_ , he thought bitterly as he formulated a plan to protect his daughter and grandson.  Suzie glanced away from Joe, just long enough for Jack to lock eyes with her, and then his second smiled.  Someone who didn’t know her wouldn’t have picked up on it, but he did.  Clever Suzie … maybe too clever, but that was why he hired her.

And so he waited as his body healed at least a little bit.  During that time, he listened, listened as Joe ranted … watched as his daughter’s mortification gave way to anger (and was quietly relieved that her anger was directed at her husband, rather than him) … and allowed the other man to think that Jack was no threat to him.  He had no idea where Joe got his weapon, but one thing Jack did know was how anything could be fashioned into a weapon.  It was something he learned in the Time Agency, an ability that he honed while he was a con artist and used to its full effect on the Game Station while he was laying traps for the Daleks.

Something else he learned, and this was long before he joined the Time Agency … part of a truly successful fight was knowing when to make your move.  Even though Suzie shielded Alice and Steven with her own body, Jack knew that the time to act had come when Joe took a threatening step toward the trio.  Suzie was competent (and terrifying when she wanted to be) … and he knew that if he died in front of Alice and Steven, his daughter could well kick him out of her life again … but there was no way Joe would be permitted to hurt Jack’s second in command, or his daughter, or his grandson.  He simply wouldn’t allow that to happen.

When Joe took that first (and final) step toward the three under Jack’s protection, the immortal made his own move.  He tackled the other man to the ground and immediately reached for his weapon, cringing at the smell of alcohol on Joe’s breath.  Of course, it wasn’t that easy.  It was never that easy.  Jack found the other man’s hand, but wresting the sharp object away was another matter entirely.  Just like his intentions, things didn’t quite work out the way he planned … but that was all right, because while he was wrestling with Joe for the object, Suzie wasn’t exactly sitting still.  As Joe rolled atop Jack and managed to get control of his weapon, sliding the blade just under Jack’s sternum, Suzie loomed over them both and slammed something down onto Joe’s back and shoulders.

Unfortunately, that also served to drive the shiv (for lack of a better word) even deeper into Jack’s chest … and upward.  That meant Jack wouldn’t be able to avoid dying in his daughter’s house.  _Dammit_.  He collapsed back against the floor, but only briefly.  As Suzie dealt with Joe, Jack felt a pair of slim, strong arms lift him up and he breathed, “Alice … I’m so sorry.”  A pair of soft lips pressed against his temple, and Jack allowed himself to relax a little more into his daughter’s embrace.

“Don’t you dare be sorry, Daddy … don’t you dare!  This wasn’t your fault, it was his, and I won’t hear you say otherwise, do you understand me?”  Alice answered fiercely.  Jack forced his eyes open to look into his daughter’s eyes and as he did, he caught sight of Suzie’s expression.  She mouthed, ‘ _daddy_?’  And then, he actually saw the understanding dawn in her eyes.  She nodded, ever so slightly.  To his astonishment, she didn’t look angry … maybe not happy, but also not angry.  She dropped to her knees, pressing a towel to his wound with both hands.

“I’m so sorry, Alice,” he heard as the world darkened.  Suzie was still talking, but there was a roaring in his ears and he couldn’t hear what she was saying.  Jack closed his eyes once more, struggling against the dizziness created by the blood loss.  There was a tiny hand petting his hair, and he cursed inwardly … it was bad enough that Alice had to see him die and come back to life, but Steven, too?  But he didn’t have the energy to ask Suzie to take Steven out of the room, didn’t have the energy or the breath, and then the darkness swept over him once more.

When he gasped back to life, he was still in Alice’s arms and Steven was still petting his hair … Joe was screaming behind his gag ( _nice touch, Suzie_ , he thought), and Suzie was staring at him in shock.  She looked from him to Alice and asked, “Did you know that he could do that?  I mean, you kept telling me not to call an ambulance, so you knew that this was going to happen?”  Alice’s arms tightened around him convulsively, and he looked up into her eyes … but to his astonishment, there was no anger or hatred or disgust in her eyes. 

And she ignored Suzie’s question, asking, “Is that what it’s like every time, Dad?”  He nodded slowly, still too tired from the death to even try to pretend with his only living child.  Alice looked away from him long enough to tell Suzie, “I knew that he couldn’t die … I never understood what that meant, though.  I didn’t know that he couldn’t stay dead, or that it hurt him when he came back.”  Further stunning Jack, Alice kissed his temple once more and said, “Mum never held you when you came back, did she?”  Jack shrugged, hissing at the pain that surged through his body.

“Help me get him up, Alice, and we’ll get him into the living room.  Steven, can you stay with your uncle while your mum and I can make sure that your dad can’t hurt anyone else tonight?” Suzie asked.  Her eyes when she looked at Jack were filled with compassion and horror, but not fear.  The two women helped Jack to his feet, and Steven hurried to press himself against Jack’s leg.  Together, the small team made its way into the living room, where Jack gratefully collapsed onto the sofa.  Suzie carefully lifted his feet onto the sofa, while Steven crawled up beside him, cuddling close.  Alice completed the preparations by gently pulling a quilt from the back of the sofa to cover both Jack and Steven.  She bent down and kissed both of their foreheads, petting Jack’s hair as her son did only a few minutes earlier.  With them settled, the two formidable women strode back into the kitchen.  Jack almost felt sorry for Joe … well, no, he didn’t.

Steven murmured, “You’re really my grandpa?  Mummy called you ‘daddy,’ so that means you’re my grandpa?”  Jack nodded, not sure how Alice wanted to handle this, but unwilling to fob the little boy off.  As it turned out, it wasn’t necessary, because his grandson continued, “You’re my grandpa … but can I keep calling you, ‘Uncle Jack,’ instead of ‘grandpa,’ Uncle Jack?”  It had to be confusing for the child … learning that the man he thought was his uncle was, in fact, his grandfather.  But Steven didn’t seem to care.  Jack kissed the top of his grandson’s head, murmuring, ‘ _you call me what you want, soldier_.’  That was good enough for Steven … and really, it was good enough for Jack, too.  Steven knew (some of) the truth about him and still loved him.  It was more than Jack hoped for.  But there was still Alice’s reaction.

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

She never saw her father die.  Oh, she knew that he never seemed to age, and that he couldn’t die, but she never understood what that meant, not until he died in her arms after Joe stabbed him.  And what Joe’s problem was, she didn’t know … true, she wasn’t straight with him about her relationship with Jack, but did he really think she didn’t know about the women?  Bloody hypocrite.  But her father … oh, her father.  Captain Jack Harkness _could_ die … he _could_ die and he _did_ die, but he didn’t stay dead.  He died, but didn’t stay dead … and when he came back to life, he seemed frightened and confused.  Alice Carter’s fury was directed away from her (soon-to-be ex) husband and toward her mother, because her mother lied to her.  All those years when she told Alice that her father was a liar and couldn’t be trusted, her mum was lying just as much.  They might have been lies of omission, rather than commission, but they were still lies and she wasn’t inclined to forgive her mother for them.

Suzie Costello seemed a little stunned by what happened tonight.  She wasn’t the only one, although Alice’s shock and mortification gave way to fury a bit earlier.  As they secured Joe, Alice explained softly, “That’s why my mum left him … because he can’t really die.  He doesn’t die, doesn’t stay dead, and doesn’t age.  I never knew what that meant, not really.  He keeps his secrets and …” She stopped as Suzie lifted her head and glowered at her.  Alice swallowed hard, because it was the first time since they met that Alice saw that expression in the other woman’s eyes.  She was … not to put too fine a point on it … absolutely furious.

“Did you see the pain as your father died, Alice Carter … did you see the terror and confusion as he came back?  Is that why you and your mother turned against him, because he can’t stay dead, because he can’t age?” Suzie asked in a low voice that warned Alice that the other woman wasn’t inclined to be sympathetic toward how Lucia Moretti felt as she watched herself age and her lover … remain the same.  She certainly wouldn’t be sympathetic toward Alice’s own feelings on the subject, her with her ageless father as she aged.  The other woman took a step forward, her dark eyes blazing with fury, as she continued, “You ungrateful brat!”

Alice started to protest, remembering how her father never fought for her (never mind that she now understood why he hadn’t, and love had nothing and everything to do with it), and Suzie continued bitterly, “My mother never dared to fight for me … my father always warned her that if she tried to divorce him, he would destroy her in the courts and make sure that he got custody of me.  And so, when I was nine years old, she bundled me into a car she borrowed.  We ran away.  She died trying to save me, because on that night, we were in a car accident.  And after that, there was no one left to protect me.”  Protect me?  Alice felt a bit queasy, remembering the questions she asked her father after the initial confrontation with Suzie Costello two months earlier.  The other woman offered a feral smile, saying, “Begging my father to stop never worked.  It’s like I told Jack … I learned very quickly to fear the sound of my father’s breathing and his footstep into my dark bedroom.”

Alice swallowed hard, as Suzie’s words painted a horrifying picture in her mind.  Suzie’s smile grew cold and she went on, her voice barely above a whisper, “Don’t ask me to have any sympathy for you or for your mum, because ageless or not, undying or not, I would have given _anything_ to have Jack as a father.  Maybe he couldn’t put you first in his life, but you were always first in his heart.  He respected your wishes and stayed away, and accepted when you bitched at him because he did.  No matter what he does, when it comes to you and your mum, Jack just can’t win.”

The words were like a blow, because Alice knew Suzie was right.  ‘ _My dad doesn’t age or stay dead_ ’ sounded a helluva lot better than ‘ _my dad hurt me in ways no child should ever be hurt_.’  For the first time, she realized just how shallow she and her mother sounded.  Suzie shook her head, murmuring, “What really gets me is that Jack still wants you in his life, still wants to be in your life.  If someone did that to me, I would have told them to burn in hell, but no … no, he takes care of you in whatever ways he has available to him.  Then again, I’ve always said that I would make a shit mother.”

“I didn’t know,” Alice protested, and it sounded weak even to her own ears.  What was worse was knowing that she would have never accepted that from her son.  Alice admitted miserably a moment later, “I didn’t want to know.  It was easier to blame my dad for not fighting for me than to admit that my mum was just as responsible.  You may not believe me, Suzie, but I’ve always loved my dad so much.  It hurt when he left my life … when we left his life.  And I didn’t want to let him back into my life, because he would leave it again.”

Suzie just waved her off, and Alice supposed that she couldn’t blame the other woman.  Instead, her guest gave one last tug of Joe’s restraints, evidently making sure that he couldn’t get loose and cause more trouble, before heading into the living room.  Alice followed her a bit numbly.  In truth, Suzie’s rant knocked her a bit off kilter.  Most of the time, she encountered people who felt as she did … for someone to take her father’s side was more than a little strange.  And then they reached the living room … only to find Steven curled up against his grandfather’s chest, talking softly about how glad he was that Jack was his grandfather, because maybe he could help Steven make sure that Daddy didn’t hurt Mummy any more than he already did … he hated it when Daddy made Mummy cry.  Jack was listening to the little boy, murmuring that he would do what he could, but Steven’s mummy might not want him to be part of their lives.  Alice bit her lip, especially after Suzie shot her a sidelong glance.  Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Suzie was right.  Jack honored her wishes, met her halfway … and there was still so much she didn’t know.

Steven asked, “How come you don’t look like other grandpas?  Grandma was old when she died, and other grandmas and grandpas are old, but you don’t look old … at least, not as old as they do.”  There was a low chuckle from Jack, because, of course, to a five year old, just about _everyone_ was old.  Alice reached out a hand, staying Suzie’s progress into the room, because she’d never heard this story before … and honestly, she was afraid that if he saw them, her father wouldn’t tell how he came to be immortal.  Suzie looked at her for a long moment, before nodding her agreement. 

“I don’t know, soldier.  A long time ago, I was traveling with a very special man, the Doctor, and an amazing girl, Rose.  Your mom was named in part after her … Melissa Rose.  The Doctor was the last of his kind, and when I’d been traveling with them for several months, we encountered his greatest enemies.  I led the Resistance, trying to buy him enough time to make sure these things couldn’t ever hurt anyone again, since they were the reason the Doctor’s people were all gone.  I died … we all died, one by one … and then I woke up.  I’ve been like that ever since.  I’m hoping the Doctor comes back soon, so he can tell me what happened … why I can’t stay dead,” Jack answered softly and Alice’s heart twisted in her chest.  He didn’t even know how he came to be immortal?  She always assumed that he was involved in an experiment that went gone wrong, that somehow he asked for this to happen to him.  But he hadn’t.  He hadn’t and he didn’t even know why it happened to him.  Jack Harkness was no victim …. he was far too strong for that.  But he … she was wrong about him.  Again.

Suzie moved then, saying softly, “And how old are you now, Jack?”  His head lifted from the end of the sofa, his eyes reflecting little surprise to see them there.  Alice swallowed hard as she followed Suzie to sit on the table in front of her father and her son.  This was her entire family now, she realized.  No, Jack wasn’t a perfect father, but he gave her whatever he could and backed off when she asked him to.  She didn’t get to whinge about him not being there for her when she told him to stay away.  Children did that, and she was supposed to be an adult.

“As best as I can figure it, since I grew up with a different calendar than you did, I’m getting close to a hundred seventy,” her father admitted and Suzie stared at him in shock.  He offered a small smile, a far cry from his usual devastating grin, and Alice felt the world tilt under her feet.  He was nearly a hundred seventy years old.  For the first time, she wondered what that might mean and it nearly broke her brain.  Jack continued, “And … since you know the greatest of my secrets, here’s another one.  I’m from three thousand years in the future.  I always tell you three that the twenty-first century is when everything changes.  That’s how I know.”  He paused, before adding, “I’m sorry I never told you about this, Suzie.  It wasn’t that I didn’t trust you …”

“There are some wounds too deep to share … and some secrets that are meant to be kept, even from those we trust the most.  You don’t need to tell me that, Jack.  Alice’s mother turned against you because of this, but I’m betting that’s not the worst thing that’s happened because of your seeming immortality.  I mean, Torchwood One’s mantra is that if it’s alien, it’s theirs … and you would be an alien,” Suzie observed.  Alice froze, because she was right.  Actually, it was the mantra of Torchwood as a whole, but she thought about what could have happened to her father … indeed, what likely happened to her father as a result of his being so very different.  To make matters worse, her father already admitted that was part of the reason he didn’t fight her mother when Lucia Moretti took her away and changed her name from ‘Melissa’ to ‘Alice.’  He feared she would get caught in the crossfire if something went pear-shaped, and that was always a possibility when it came to Torchwood.

What was even more telling to Alice was that her dad didn’t deny Suzie’s statements.  She wanted to be sick.  She wished her mother was alive so she could tell her off for lying to her about so much.  She wished her bastard of an ex never came here tonight so she wouldn’t have learned these things and she could have remained ignorant of the price her father paid for an immortality he never sought.  She wished … she wished that she was five years old again, and could look forward to her father sweeping her into her arms and dancing her around the room.  She never told her father that, but she always felt safe when she was in his arms.  Oh, as an adult, she knew that safety was often an illusion.  She also knew that he couldn’t put her first.  He never pretended otherwise, and that was one of the few truths that her mother told her.  Torchwood came first … they came second.  And maybe that was why Alice couldn’t forgive her father.  But even that wasn’t true.

Suzie reached over to touch Jack’s face, murmuring, “We know now.  And I won’t tell Owen and Tosh, not if you don’t want them to know yet.  It’s your secret to tell … you’ve kept my secret, and now I’ll keep yours.  And you, Steven … you gotta keep this secret.  We want to make sure that bad people don’t try to hurt your grandpa … or you and your mother.”  Steven nodded fiercely and snuggled closer to Jack, as if trying to protect him from anyone who would cause trouble.  Suzie bent over to kiss Jack’s forehead, just as Alice did earlier, and offered a feral grin, adding, “Good boy.  You stay here and protect your mum and your grandpa.  I’ll take care of your dad.”  _And enjoy doing it_ , was what went unsaid.  She rose to her feet, leaving Alice to start building her new family … the one that would consist of her, her father, and her son.

It wouldn’t be easy.  There would be times when she’d wish to never see her father again, and times when they hurt each other.  But … Alice had to believe that it would be worth it.  What if Joe came home drunk, and Jack wasn’t here?  She shuddered and began to accept that despite what her mother thought, she was far safer with her father in her life, rather than out of it.  Bad things would happen regardless.  Maybe, if she and her father and Steven stuck together, they’d find it easier to make it through to the other side.

Maybe.

 

TBC 


	5. Epilogue:  Finding Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Suzie tells her decision about the Glove; Jack has a challenge for her; while Owen wraps things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now, we come to the end of From Every Direction, A Different Disguise. As per usual, the story took me to places I wasn’t entirely expecting. Some, I planned on … others, not so much. Tosh was supposed to have a much bigger role in this (as was Owen), but that didn’t work out. Then again, the surprises are a big part of the fun of writing for me. The next story will be the COE re-write, Days of Reckoning, and if you think I’ve shaken Torchwood upside down and inside out, you ain’t seen nothing yet (here’s a hint … it won’t be a one hundred percent happy ending, but this time around, Jack doesn’t lose everything). That’ll take some time, because I need to work on my other two Torchwood universes, to say nothing of my other stories. It will also be slow, because I’ve landed a temporary position at one of the local universities which is scheduled to last until May.

Cardiff, Wales

Four days later

 

 

Her boss was immortal. As she had so many times in the last few days, when Suzie Costello was alone, she tasted the words on her tongue, to see if anything changed since she learned that particular truth.  Nope, it still didn’t really register.  She tried again.  Her boss was immortal … or at least, as close to immortal as one could imagine an actual person being.

Her boss was immortal, and even now, only days after seeing Jack die and come back to life in his daughter’s kitchen, Suzie was still struggling to make sense out of it.  Oh, she absolutely meant what she told Alice … undying and ageless, she still would have given anything to have Jack as her father while she was growing up.  However, that being said, she still wasn’t finding this any easier.  It wasn’t just seeing Jack die and come back to life, it wasn’t just hearing about his first death.  It was … Steven and Alice might not have noticed what Jack said:  waiting for the Doctor to come back and tell him why he was immortal.  However, Suzie did.  That meant that the Doctor wasn’t there when he awoke … that meant Jack was abandoned.  Suzie knew about the mandate in the Torchwood charter about the Doctor and while Jack obviously had a great deal of respect for him, Suzie wasn’t so sure she felt the same.  However, out of respect for Jack, she’d hold her tongue.  At least for now.

But there was something else troubling her.  In the days since Jack told her, his daughter and his grandson (!?!?!) about how he became immortal, Suzie found her research on the Glove far more difficult.  No, that wasn’t the word, either.  Maybe a better word … maybe a better word would be, ‘unrewarding.’  Originally, when she realized what sorts of uses the Glove could have, she thought about trying to use it for law enforcement purposes … having the dead literally speak, to see if they could tell the living, in actual spoken words, who had killed them.  She didn’t have much use for the police, but she saw their purpose and didn’t see anything wrong with giving them with a little help in the occasional investigation.  Her original idea was a noble purpose, to be sure, but that required experimentation … experimentation on human beings.

Two months earlier, Suzie would have had no issues with that.  Looking back now, she realized, much to her horror, that she did begin to lose touch with her humanity … that while she was experimenting on the Glove, she began seeing ‘potential subjects’ or ‘people who wouldn’t be missed,’ instead of ‘human beings.’  And she hadn’t even realized what she was doing until she saw Jack die and come back to life in his daughter’s arms.  For the first time, she looked at the rest of her team … Jack, Tosh, Owen … and realized that the same could have been said for each of them.  ‘Wouldn’t have been missed,’ because until recently, Jack was largely estranged from his daughter … Owen still didn’t speak to his blood family … while Tosh got to see her own family only rarely.  ‘Won’t be missed.’  Such a lie, a lie she saw now.

There were other things.  She remembered Jack’s pain and confusion, his disorientation in those first precious seconds when he returned to life, and …  Suzie shuddered as she raced lightly up the stairs to Jack’s office.  No.  No, she was doing the right thing now.  She realized that the previous night when she had a dream about using the gauntlet to bring Alice back to life … or Melissa, as Suzie had taken to calling her.  She rapped lightly on the door before entering Jack’s office … and his head, which was ducked over the paperwork as he murmured to himself, was already in motion before she spoke the first words.

He looked first at the gauntlet and then at Suzie, put down his pen and sat back.  They stared at each other for several moments before Jack observed, “You want to end research on the glove.”  There was no question in Jack’s tone … a simple statement of fact.  Suzie didn’t allow herself to be surprised and instead, permitted herself a hesitant nod as she looked at her friend and boss, and saw no expression on his face.  It wasn’t often that Jack’s expression could be described as anything approaching neutral, a fact which would give her pause if she wasn’t convinced of some things important … and she was very convinced of the importance of what she was about to say.  Thus, she was prepared when Jack asked blandly, “Why?” 

And she told him.  She told him how she realized that her humanity was slowly being chipped away, sometimes by a sliver … sometimes by whole chunks.  She told him about the nightmares and about her realization that she would need to conduct experiments on human subjects … and above all, she told him about her discovery about the connection between the knife and the gauntlet.  At the end, exhausted by everything she told him, Suzie sat back and whispered, “I can’t take this any further, Jack.  I … we’re supposed to protect people, not put them in greater danger.  Not to use them as subjects in experiments … we’re supposed to protect, Jack.”  She was rambling now, and she knew she was rambling, but she was afraid.  She was afraid of that glove, she was afraid of what she was in the process of becoming, and most of all, she was afraid of what she might become by the end.  And what frightened her, more than anything, was the possibility that there was something very wrong with her that this was happening.

Jack nodded thoughtfully before asking, “What’s your recommendation?”  Suzie blinked.  Hadn’t he heard a word she just said?  But her captain elaborated, “What I mean is, what is your recommendation for the glove and knife?  I agree … with what this research is doing this to you, it needs to be stopped.  Right now.  And I thank you for coming to me about this.”  Suzie swallowed hard, because really, what could she say to that?  She needed to think about that.  Jack added, his voice impossibly gentle, “That part, you don’t have to decide right now.  But given how dangerous both of these are, we need to either secure them where they can never harm someone again, or destroy them.  Can you find that out for me, what would be the best option?”

Suzie nodded and Jack rose to his feet, circling his desk to kneel in front of her.  He picked up her hand and kissed her palm, a gentle gesture that she saw him utilize with Melissa, murmuring, “I am so proud of you, Suzie.  Not just for this, but for everything.  I know … I know telling me about your childhood on that night took a great deal of courage, and I thank you for your trust.  I’m proud of you for that, too.  You could have turned into a monster, but instead, you became a protector.”  Suzie blinked back tears as Jack smiled at her tenderly, and when he pulled her into his arms, she didn’t fight him.  Instead, she curled against his chest, seeking and finding the sanctuary she’d been seeking since she was a child. 

Jack would tell her some time later that her father died in hospital.  When she told him everything, she also told him about the hospital where her father was dying by increments.  Not so surprisingly, Jack then put out feelers … so it didn’t surprise her when he called her into his office to tell her about her father’s death.  What did surprise her was that Jack told her that according to his source, her father’s face was frozen in a mask of fear and horror.  Jack murmured that whoever or whatever killed him … he knew him/her/it.  There was no evidence of alien involvement and Torchwood would _not_ investigate unless she wanted them to.  For Suzie, there was no decision to be made.  She thanked Jack and said ‘ _no_.’ An investigation wouldn’t be necessary.  That part of her life was over, and Suzie would look toward her future.

 

 

 

TWTWTWTWTWTWTW

 

 

Dr. Owen Harper had many roles within Torchwood:  he was the team doctor, the coroner, and according to Jack when the captain was in a mischievous mood, the annoying little brother.  However, there were other things that Owen did as part of the team.  One of his favorite roles was being the misanthropist of their odd little family … snarly, growling, self-absorbed.  It was really the easiest role to play, because he could just be himself.  However, the truth was, he saw a lot more than people realized.  He saw a lot more than people wanted to realize.  Except maybe Jack.  He had a habit of seeing things you didn’t want him to see.  But for the last few months, ever since that brawl when he used Jack’s name (and he was still paying for that), Owen noticed a change in the relationship between Suzie and their boss.  He noticed a change in Suzie, as well.  And because she was more perceptive than he was in a lot of ways, he was pretty sure that Tosh picked up on it as well.  People thought she only noticed her computers.  People were wrong.

But there was a definite change in the relationship between Suzie and Jack ever since Alice Carter first showed up.  They were closer.  Not closer, like how Suzie and Owen got after a particularly vicious mission that nearly destroyed them both … no, this was more like a brother and sister who suffered through something that could have destroyed them but didn’t.  And Suzie … like he thought, Suzie was different, too.  She was … not really softer, but she definitely lost some of the hard diamond quality that so irked him when they first met.  She was also more openly protective of Tosh, which Owen found intriguing.  And on more than one occasion, he wondered what Katie would have thought of her.  He never allowed himself to think about that for long.  It led nowhere.

He couldn’t say the same about recent events.  To his astonishment, Jack was never truly angry with him for getting drunk (maybe because he never succeeded in getting drunk) or for starting a fight (‘ _if I’d been there_ ,’ Jack told him in a low, deadly voice, ‘ _I would have done worse’_ ), or even for using his name when the fight started.  No, what really crawled under Jack’s hide was the fact that Owen didn’t tell him about that part of it.  He could work with all the other factors, but he got blindsided by Owen’s actions.  Jack freely admitted to him that he couldn’t tell them everything … not because he liked to keep that aura of mystery (although he did), but because he _couldn’t_.  Could _not_.  Not for the first time, Owen wondered how Jack knew the things he did, but by now, he knew better than to bother asking.  But now … now Owen was starting to see that just like Owen himself, Tosh, and Suzie, Jack employed defense mechanisms of his own.  And his deflections were at the top of that list.

Owen mockingly promised to tell Jack the next time he used his name for a fight, and Jack retorted, ‘ _thanks, I do like knowing why someone’s clouting me_.’  That actually brought up Owen short, as it never occurred to him at the time (or later), that there might be consequences to Jack, aside from a semi-hysterical sister.  Jack could take care of himself … that wasn’t the point … but Owen wasn’t sure he would survive the consequences if someone came after Jack because of something his doctor did and one of the girls were hurt.  After all, Jack reminded him, Owen didn’t want to make work for himself, did he?  Bastard.  Especially since he was right.  Again.

There was also the matter of Owen sleeping with Suzie.  Jack didn’t interfere in the relationships of his people, not as long as it didn’t interfere with their work.  He also didn’t give Owen the shovel talk, which surprised the doctor more than a little bit.  However, when he pointed that out to Jack, the captain answered that Suzie was quite capable of taking care of herself … and that it was just as possible that Suzie would hurt Owen.  That silenced the doctor quicker than Jack kissing him would have.  He did, however, warn Owen about the consequences for hurting Tosh.  That was fine with Owen … Tosh reminded him entirely too much of Katie, and Owen was not about to get involved with anyone who resembled his late fiancée physically or behaved like her.  Tosh didn’t look like Katie, but the way she treated other people … well, Owen knew what Torchwood was like, and he couldn’t bear to lose Katie a second time, even by proxy.  And while he would cut his own throat before admitting it, he could love Tosh as he loved Katie.

Suzie was safe.  He could care about Suzie, he could sleep with her, but he didn’t have to love her.  She was safe.  When he allowed himself to think about it, it really was the ultimate irony:  his relationship with Suzie was the safest thing about his job with Torchwood.  Then again, pretty much everything about Torchwood threw what you thought you knew about yourself and the world out of kilter.  Sooner or later, you had to find a new balance, not just once, but repeatedly.  After all this time, Owen was still finding his balance … Tosh, it seemed, already found hers … and Suzie?  Well, Suzie was starting all over from the beginning.

Jack once told them that you began at the end … that each ending was a new beginning, and when he was in a philosophical mood, Owen saw the truth of that.  After all, the end of his life with Katie, as her fiancé, as her Owen, was the beginning of his life with Torchwood.  However, those philosophical moods were few and far between, and when he wasn’t working, Owen was developing new defense mechanisms.  After all this time (which wasn’t nearly long enough), Owen still saw Katie in every defenseless woman and in every patient he couldn’t save.  Finding balance for him would take just a little bit longer … if he ever reached that point.

For now, Jack was reminding him that it was his turn to make the lunch run.  Owen knew better than to try to get Tosh to do it for him … he still hadn’t paid her back for covering for him by going to London while he was hung over … and Suzie would laugh in his face if he tried to sweet-talk her into it.  He wished that Jack would hire a tea-boy or a tea-girl, free up the rest of them to do important work … even if that important work was playing video games.  Not that Jack ever would.  He was a bastard that way.

One day, Owen would muse (much) later as he was hiding from a partially converted Cyberwoman and shielding Tosh with his own body, he would realize that he needed to be a little more careful about what he wished for.  But it was unlikely that today would be that day.

 

Fin 


End file.
